Family Systems and Dementia

Oh, readers. This is my exact cup of tea. For those of you who don’t know this about yours truly, I have a master’s degree in clinical psychology with an emphasis on marriage and family therapy, so THIS IS MY WHEEL HOUSE. This makes me do a golf clap and an excited shoulder bounce. Yay!

So, welcome to an introduction of family systems, with your professor Rachael. No tests, no big words (without an explanation), but hopefully a better understanding of family dynamics and how we relate to one another. I wrote another piece on this in Re-Members Only that goes more in depth but you gotta be a Re-Member to see it. Click here to join.  

Alright, lets start at the top. Lets use the term family loosely and not get too stuck on the definition, rather let’s focus on the relationship between people. So when I say “family,” try not to think of Aunt Sue or Grandpa Pat, just think of people you have a relationship with. Fair? Now within a family (ahem, a relationship)... we all have our roles. And they can shift and morph as we grow and as the family changes (someone passes, a baby is born, etc). Roles, in this context, are your “part” in the family. Are you the caregiver (making sure everyone is ok)? Are you the clown (defusing the tense situation or relationships)? Are you the black sheep? (the disagreeable outcast)?

What is your role?

Equally as important are the family rules. And these aren’t “We don’t hit,” they are more along the lines of “We don’t emote or “We don’t talk about Uncle Lou who died by suicide last year. They are ways to keep everyone “in line” if you will.

What are your family rules?

When these two aspects are in unison and the family system is copasetic, the “norm,” they are in homeostasis. Now, throw in a dementia diagnosis and ka-boom! The homeostasis or the norm gets a big shake and everything must rearrange. New roles are taken on, new rules are established and everyone needs to readjust to find the balance again. And that, my friend is no small feat.

I often grapple with prepping my family (writing down my wishes, discussing my “bucket list,” etc) for a dementia diagnosis. What if Frankie passed it down to me? What if I get it? What if… what if… what if?

You know what can help ease that anxiety? Genetic testing and furthering research any way I possibly can. So I’ve turned to LearnFTD to help guide me and start the thought process of, “What if I get this? Do I want to know? Do I want to plan?” Man, science is pretty amazing, no? For more information on genetic testing and counseling, please visit LearnFTD.com. I’m glad I have this option if it’s something I choose to learn. And you know what?

I’m happy you have that option too!